Cherish the Dream Read online

  “Oh, Captain Roberts!” she trilled, affecting surprise at finding him. “How are you this morning?” Her large blue eyes studied the handsome man with open admiration.

  Distracted, Blade scarcely glanced up at them, while Peter Haintzelman gazed in spellbound awe at their beauty, his share of the work completely forgotten.

  Both women were demurely mounted sidesaddle. Theodora was resplendent in her lavender riding habit and Nell wore a pale blue outfit with a matching top hat that set off her curls.

  Blade nodded brusquely. “Busy, Miss Henderson. Good morning.”

  Not to be brushed off so easily, Nell leaned over and lightly touched the braid on his shoulder. “I do hope you’ll come for dinner tonight, Captain. Theodora and I are going strawberry picking and my aunt has promised a marvelous dessert. Do say you won’t be too busy to come?”

  Blade’s eyes were fixed upon the list in his hand, from which he had been checking items as Haintzelman called them off. “I’ll be there, Miss Henderson. Colonel Kearny has already ordered me to make my appearance.”

  Satisfied, Nell tugged on the reins of her bay and turned toward the open gates of the fort. She smiled brightly and waved good-bye. “Then I’ll talk to you tonight, Captain Roberts.”

  Behind her, Theodora sat stiffly on her borrowed mount. Without a hint of recognition, she turned her back on Blade Roberts and followed Nell toward their escorts, who were patiently waiting at the gate.

  It had been no surprise to anyone under his command that Blade was in a black temper that morning. So far, he hadn’t been timid about showing it either. He scowled furiously as he watched the women ride off, then turned to a trooper who had the temerity to walk up and ask a question.

  “I don’t care how many times you’ve checked them, Belknap, unpack the blasted tents and check them again!” Blade exploded. “We’re not going on a church picnic and it’s about time everyone started realizing it.”

  Stomping off, Blade left the men scurrying around, trying their best to avoid his notice. Already that morning he had blistered two men with his withering tongue, and no one wanted to be the third.

  His sharp words carried across the square. Theodora jumped in spite of herself and accidentally struck her horse with her short riding crop. Taking offense at this shabby treatment, the roan reacted with unexpected energy and took off past the waiting escort and out through the stockade gate at an erratic gallop, her rider barely hanging on. The lavender netting of Theodora’s veil billowed behind her.

  The mounted dragoons chased after the startled mare, trying to offer assistance.

  Nell’s laughter indicated just what a clumsy picture she presented, and Theodora gritted her teeth and pulled back sharply on the reins. She finally brought the horse under control before the would-be rescuers caught up with her. By then, unfortunately for Theodora’s self-esteem, they were out of sight of the fort and its critical inhabitants.

  Theodora and Nell were accompanied by a patrol of four men led by Corporal Overbury. Surrounded by the high-spirited dragoons, who were delighted to have pulled such plush duty on that beautiful June day, the ladies galloped over the grass covered prairie. The deep-blue sky was dotted by puffy clouds that cast shadows on the sun-warmed land. The air was so clear they could see for miles across the limitless expanse of plain surrounding them.

  The group reached a small stand of cottonwoods along Bee Creek and dismounted. Under the trees the dappled light played on the nearby stream and provided a cool haven from the sun. Wildflowers bloomed in abundance along the creek banks, and Theodora’s educated eye picked out the scarlet flowers of the mallow, small white primroses, and tall lilac flowers as large as foxgloves. Recognizing them from her studies, though she had only seen them in books, she planned to pick samples of the native flora that she would later press and carefully label with their scientific names.

  The trip up the Missouri on the Liberator had shown her plants and scenery as alien to her native Massachusetts as the mountain man, Ezekiel Conyers, would have been in the somber halls of Harvard, and Theodora was overwhelmed by the size and diversity of the untamed lands she had seen. At times, the fear of the unknown rose like a specter within her, but she ruthlessly quelled it, refusing to admit even to herself the perils that awaited them. She’d studied too long and too hard to give up her dream at the first hint of danger.

  Now, incredibly, Theodora thought, here she was at the edge of the vast, rolling plains of the Great American Desert, frolicking on the bank of Bee Creek with four dragoons of the First Regiment of the U.S. Army and a belle from Atlanta, Georgia.

  “There are the wild strawberries,” Nell pointed out. “Let’s see who can fill their pail the fastest. If I’m in a contest, I’ll be sure not to eat every other one I pick.”

  Nell’s suggestion proved an excellent idea, and so enjoyable was the berry picking and the picnic, that it was late afternoon before they arrived back at the fort to find the members of the expedition still hard at work in the square.

  Theodora made a beeline for the room she shared with Nell in the commandant’s home. Tearing up the stairs and into the bedroom, she snatched off her hat and tossed it on a bureau. She wanted to change quickly and return to the square to check over her things one last time before their departure in the morning. Turning to glance at herself in the mirror over the chest of drawers, Theodora came to a halt. There by the wall stood both her trunks; they must have been overlooked in the confusion of the final preparations. On closer inspection, however, Theodora discovered that the locks on both trunks had been opened. She lifted the lid of each and found that the contents had been rifled. In the larger trunk, her books had been stacked on top of her elegant green satin gown, and in the other her finest lingerie was scattered carelessly over her rose velvet evening dress.

  Theodora tore out of the room and down the stairs to the first floor and into the kitchen. “Delilah,” she called to the woman busily kneading dough on the countertop, “please send Abner up for my trunks. They’ve been forgotten! They need to be loaded in the wagon this afternoon. And someone has opened my luggage and gone through my things.”

  The tall Negress smiled at her. “No, chile, dey didn’t fo’get. Dey b’ought dose trunks down and den took dem back up ag’in. De Cap’an, he say dere’s no mo’ room in de wagon. Yo’ trunks are goin’ to be shipped back to Massachoo on de next steamboat goin’ east.”

  “They are not!” Theodora blurted out, and made a dash for the door. She wouldn’t let him do this to her. He was a bully, but he wasn’t going to ride roughshod over her.

  As she ran across the gravel path and into the busy square, Theodora spotted the overbearing captain standing with Zeke Conyers behind the wagon that should have contained her two trunks. In seconds she stood directly in front of him.

  Seeing her expression, Zeke silently touched the brim of his hat and ambled off.

  “I want my baggage brought down and loaded on this wagon,” she said without preamble. forcing herself to remain calm despite the slamming of her heart against her ribs. She gulped in a quick breath of air and raced on. “All the things I need for the journey are in those trunks.”

  Blade’s black gaze bored into her. “All the things you need, Miss Gordon, are packed and ready to be loaded on mules in the morning. We don’t have room in the wagon for personal effects. I sent your trunks back up earlier today.”

  “You sent them back?” came her indignant reply.

  Blade took a step toward her. “You had way too much in those trunks, Miss Gordon. You must’ve had twenty books. I picked out four of them for you. The rest must remain behind.”

  Hands on her hips. Theodora demanded in a shrill voice, “I need those books for my work! And what about my dresses? All my evening gowns are still in the trunks! What am I supposed to wear when I get to California?”

  Moving so close that his gleaming black cavalry boots touched the hem of her lavender riding habit, Blade spoke in a quiet voice through
clenched teeth. “Let’s not announce our destination to the world, Miss Gordon. I’ll buy you some new gowns when we get there.”

  “And what about my lingerie? Am I expected to go without undergarments until we reach the Pacific Coast as well?” she cried, her voice quivering.

  There was no immediate reply. Aware, all too late, of the unnatural quiet that had descended on the busy cantonment, Theodora looked around to find all of the men standing and waiting in gleeful fascination for the captain’s answer.

  Blade’s words came crisp and clear. His attempt to remain calm was clearly nearing the breaking point. “You packed far too much, Miss Gordon. So I went through your things and picked out everything you’d need for the trip.”

  “You dare? You dare to go through my personal belongings with your dirty hands and your evil thoughts? You should be horsewhipped for that!”

  Turning abruptly, Blade strode to the front of the wagon and reached under the seat. He jerked out a large mule skinner’s whip, its rawhide strip cutting through the air with a crack. He returned and threw it at her feet. His dark eyes glittered with rage. “There’s the whip to do it with, miss.”

  She reached down and snatched it from the dirt. With one frustrated sob, Theodora hurled the whip at his broad chest. It hit with a thud and fell to the ground. “You beast!” she cried. Tears welling up in her eyes, she turned and ran back to the house.

  Blade pulled his gaze from her departing figure and looked at the mountain men and soldiers, who struggled in vain to hide their grins.

  “What the devil are you gawking at?” he shouted. “If you’ve got nothing better to do than stand around here, we can always drill for two hours when we’re done packing!”

  As she sat down to dinner in the Kearnys’ cheerful dining room, Theodora had the uneasy feeling that it might have been wiser if she’d skipped the meal entirely. At the belated appearance of Captain Roberts, who came in after everyone else was seated and casually nodded to Mary Kearny before hanging his long dragoon sword on the back of his chair, the food began to stick in Theodora’s throat. Mere swallowing turned into an act of sheer determination. To her relief, Lieutenant Fletcher was seated directly across from her, and his gentle smile reassured her that he, for one, understood her predicament.

  That evening nothing could have kept the conversation away from the next morning’s departure, however, and Theodora’s excitement, despite her uneasiness in Roberts’s presence, mounted with the discussion of routes that could be taken to the Platte River.

  After dinner, the ladies retired to Mrs. Kearny’s drawing room, promising the gentlemen strawberry tarts as soon as they rejoined them. In short order, the men appeared, and Theodora smiled at her brother as he sat beside her on the sofa. The understanding between them had never required words, but tonight they could barely contain their joy and wished to share it with each other, just as they had been doing every evening since leaving home.

  Before they could begin their conversation, however, a large form stood directly in front of them, and they looked up into the scowling face of Blade Roberts.

  “May I speak to both of you privately, please?” he asked.

  Glancing at each other, they nodded agreement and stood as one.

  Blade forced a polite smile and motioned toward the door. “After you,” he said. “We’ll use the colonel’s study.”

  The room was empty and dark when they entered, and brother and sister waited silently while Blade lit a lamp on the large desk.

  “Sit down, please,” he said, indicating two tall ladder-back chairs.

  “What can we do for you, sir?” Tom asked as he took a seat.

  Defiantly, Theodora walked around the chair reserved for her and gripped its back with tight fingers. What was he up to? she wondered. He’d tried frightening her away with a seduction attempt that she doubted was even genuine. He’d ordered that most of her personal belongings be left behind. Now it seemed he was going to try charm where brute strength hadn’t worked. She set her lips in a thin, straight line and regarded him with defiance. “Yes, Captain Roberts, just what do you have to say to us that you didn’t say already this morning at the inquiry?”

  Unprovoked by her attack, Blade leaned one hip on the edge of the colonel’s desk and crossed his arms. “I’d like to reason calmly with you both,” he replied. “Perhaps that’s something I should have tried from the very beginning. Neither of you can have the slightest notion of what you’re getting into. It’ll be hard enough for you, Tom, to endure the hardships that face us. Thirst, heat, hunger, physical pain, and suffering. All inevitable on a trip like this. It will be impossible for Miss Gordon. No woman has ever crossed the plains because no woman can survive the journey. Tom, I’m asking you to stop your sister from going. If you value her life—if you love her you’ll do that.”

  Wide-eyed and grave, Tom stared back at the captain, trying to be wise beyond his twenty-three years. “You’re certain Teddy can’t survive the trip?”

  “Wait a minute,” Theodora interrupted. “Whether I can survive or not has never been proven because no female has ever tried to cross the plains before. At least no white one. But we all know that Lewis and Clark had a woman with them. She led them across the wilderness. If she could survive the journey, then so can I. I’m strong and healthy. I can make it!”

  “Sacajawea was an Indian squaw, Miss Gordon.” Blade waved one hand in dismissal of her absurd notion. “She led them into the country in which she was born. You’ve no conception of the hardships that await you. You won’t last two weeks.”

  Tom turned to his sister and placed a hand on her arm. “Teddy, he could be right. Maybe we are attempting something that can’t be done. Maybe you shouldn’t go on this trip.”

  Pulling away from her brother, Theodora came around the chair and faced the tall captain. Since the moment they’d met him, he’d behaved abominably. He was snide and rude and overbearing. But this cold, calculating man would not be allowed to snatch their dream from them.

  She held her shoulders back and her head high and met his eyes with determination. “Don’t let this officious, dictatorial man sway you, Tom. Our dream was to go together and we will. I’m leaving with the expedition in the morning. And nothing will change my mind!”

  Theodora turned to go, then whirled back. “But before we depart, Captain Roberts,” she added, glaring at him, “let me make my feelings toward you clear, lest on this journey you misread my intentions once again. Where you are concerned, I am ruled by my emotions. I have never disliked any human being as much as I dislike you!”

  In a swirl of rose velvet, she left the room.

  “And I thought gently bred young ladies were supposed to be sweet and docile!” Blade shouted.

  The door closed on his words with a bang.

  But a look of admiration shone on his face. Such spunkiness had to be admired in anyone—even that razor-tongued little shrew.

  As he lifted his shoulders in a fatalistic gesture, Tom Gordon shook his head. “Females don’t seem to come that way in my family. I’m afraid, Captain Roberts, that I have never been able to change Teddy’s mind once it was made up. She’s never heeded my warnings in the past and it seems unlikely that she’ll start now.”

  Running a hand through his thick hair, Blade asked in exasperation, “Just who can change Miss Gordon’s mind once she thinks it’s made up?”

  Tom shook his head and grinned ruefully. “No one I’ve met yet, sir!”

  Chapter 5

  Captain Roberts took a sheaf of papers from Colonel Kearny’s outstretched hand and slipped them inside his fringed buckskin shirt. They stood on Kearny’s wide portico, apart from the other members of the geographical team gathered for a solemn farewell.

  “Give my regards to Bonniville when you see him, Captain,” the colonel said. “And good luck.” Then he turned to the group clustered on his porch. “Good luck to all of you.” The Gordon twins, themselves dressed in buckskins, stood side by side. W
ithout speaking, Theodora felt the thrill of excitement shared between them. She turned to Mrs. Kearny. “Good-bye, Mary. Thank you for your warm hospitality. I’m sure I’ll remember your strawberry tarts in the days ahead.” Mary Kearny put her arms around Theodora and hugged her tenderly. Tears filled her soft brown eyes. “Good luck, Theodora. My prayers go with you on this journey.”

  Theodora turned to Nell and smiled. “I hope the remainder of your visit at Fort Leavenworth is pleasant. It won’t be long until you’re safely back home in Atlanta with your parents.”

  “Oh, Theodora, I shall never forget this day!” Nell exclaimed, her blue eyes wide with admiration.

  At that moment their horses were led up by five mounted dragoons. With a nod, Blade signaled that it was time to leave, and everyone moved to his horse. For a minute, as if he was about to say something to her, the captain stared thoughtfully at Theodora, watching her reach for the reins of her mare. Then without a word he moved to his own gray stallion.

  It seemed to Theodora that every soul in Fort Leavenworth, young and old, was present to see the U.S. Army’s Scientific Exploring Expedition depart on that historic June morning. Excitement stirred the crowd. Tiny children clung to their mothers’ calico skirts, staring in wonder at the rough mountaineers clad in homemade buckskins, their long muskets shining in the first rays of the sun. Holding tightly to their fathers’ callused hands, girls in pigtails gazed in romantic fascination at the dragoons in their blue-and-gold uniforms with their long cavalry sabers clanking at their sides.